After a couple of seconds she said, “Daddy, I hope I didn’t ruin everything between us. I mean, I hope that you still love me. I just felt like I had to live out this crazy fantasy that I’ve had all my life so I forced you into making love with me. And I…” “We haven’t made love,” I interrupted her babbling, “and you didn’t force me into doing anything. About this fantasy that you claim to have had your whole life, I didn’t know anything about it and I don’t care. All I know is that I’ve just had one of the most wonderful moments of my life with the most wonderful daughter in the whole world and I wouldn’t change a thing about a second of what just happened.”She rose up a little as if to look deep within my soul and then gave me a big grin and lay back down on her back. We lay there awhile without saying a word, both lost in our own thoughts. After a few moments she said, “I’ve always have been fascinated by sex. From my earliest memories I’ve been almost obsessed with knowing. “I wasn’t unhappy, I just wanted something ... more, something different.”Rebecca and Rosie were listening intently. Rebecca because of her own experience leaving Kansas City. Rosie probably because she didn’t have many hometown memories of her own.“I wasn’t trying to get away from something. But the West was calling out to me. There was something out there, out here, that I had to see. Experience. I didn’t know what it was, what it would turn out to be ... just something new, something ... different.”Rebecca reached for my buckle, winked at her daughter, “Big for his age.”Rebecca and Rosie and I crossed Market — dodging a large freight wagon towed by two red and white Ayrshire oxen — and walked the two blocks down to the Holy Redemption Church of the Resurrected. The new bell tolled.As they did in bed, they put me in the middle. Rebecca holding one arm, Rosie the other. Sheriff’s badge polished and pinned to my vest. Eight-gauge resting on my left shoulder, Peacemaker in my right.
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